October leans into the sensory richness of the season — warmth, fermentation, spice, candlelight. The earth is closing in, and so are we. We are meant to live with the seasons; it’s so hardwired into our systems that even the modern reduction of time into some ubiquitous free-for-all doesn’t erase the primal response we have when we appreciate and observe them. Once you start living more slowly, more intentionally, it feeds into everything you do. This is a piece about rest — and about worthiness, which has to come first.
Laziness
“Laziness is an awful disease” — how many of us grew up with a variation of this saying? On a superficial level I understand it. But on a deeper level I think it points to a bigger judgement, a bigger problem. We have a culture which measures a person’s worth by their productivity and usefulness.
"Rest is not what you do when everything is finished. It is what makes everything else possible."
Lack of Self-worth
A lack of self-worth is a real problem, particularly in Ireland, and I’m sure the reasons for that are many, varied and ancestral. But what does it look like? It might look like someone who follows the done thing even when it doesn’t feel right or true for them — in terms of life decisions, social activities, food choices, spiritual endeavours. It might look like a person who judges or belittles anyone who attempts something out of the ordinary. It might look like someone who cannot even consider a different way of doing things because it’s not for someone “like them” and would just be some form of “notions”. It might be someone who accepts their life as it is even when it feels wrong, because they don’t believe they deserve anything else.
A lack of self-worth can be destructive and erosive — either inwards towards ourselves or outwards towards others.
What shifts?
Worthiness builds safety, and from safety we can be ourselves — no masks, no pretences. When we feel safe, we feel steady, able to cope and able to access our potential. We are also kinder to ourselves and to others. We engage differently with life when we feel safe, and are less triggered or less defensive by situations or comments.
We are so caught up in the “busy” loop that it’s hard to be anchored or grounded in who we are at our core. This is why slowing down is so important. It is a skill that needs to be practiced and introduced intentionally in your life.
A solution
Resting is part of that slowing down. Having a space, every day, week or month, for you to spend on your own or with your loved ones that’s less frenzied, that more present is key — and it’s necessary to start this process of living more intentionally.
So step 1 — give yourself permission to slow down and rest this week. That rest can be of the stay-still sort, or a do-something-that-brings-you-joy-just-because sort of rest. Rest in this context is less about the physical exertion and more about the “mental load” rest. That might be clearing the schedule of a weekend day or afternoon and watching a movie, or baking those cookies you thought looked good. It could mean going for a long walk, or to a local sauna. It could mean giving yourself a few hours to go quiet, go within, through a meditation and journalling. But make the decision and commit to it!
Step 2 — plan the rest. Schedule it or make space for it. Cancel some plans that feel obligatory rather than nourishing. Delegate some tasks that can be delegated. Postpone something that isn’t urgent or necessary. Create the space.
Step 3 — don’t overthink your rest. It’s not meant to solve the problems of the world. It’s meant to help your body unwind and regulate. It’s meant to help you recognise that you don’t need to be “useful” to be worthy of your own love or anyone else’s love. This rest is meant to help you build safety for yourself — safety that’s not tied to anything else that’s external to you. Safety that you have built for yourself.
If any of this is landing for you, our next Rooted Connection gathering is on Wednesday 28th October — a guided meditation and gentle guidance on living intentionally according to your priorities and joy. You’re warmly welcome to come as you are.
Whatever “rest” you commit to, be present with it, note how it feels in your body and allow yourself to relax into it with no ulterior motive — no achievement to obtain. No guilt at not being productive.
Before I go
This rest is so important now more than ever. We are bombarded from dawn to dusk by voices that have their own motives — be it social media algorithms, commercial interests wanting our custom, those in authority that may not have our own interests at heart or who are limited in their own knowledge to begin with. We have not become accustomed to being curious — asking questions is not rude or ignorant, it is necessary. Question where you buy your food from, where you get your news, where you place your trust when it comes to your health. Always question. When we rest we give ourselves a bit of space to be curious and to question “Is this what I want?”
Whatever “rest” you commit to, be present with it, note how it feels in your body and allow yourself to relax into it with no ulterior motive — no achievement to obtain. No guilt at not being productive. When we rest, we give ourselves a bit of space to be curious. And as the well known ad says — “You’re worth it”!
Until next time,
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